


A Traditional Tribal Wedding Song

by ChocoChipBiscuit



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fallout Kink Meme, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Kink Meme, Music, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-09 12:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoChipBiscuit/pseuds/ChocoChipBiscuit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cass sings a lovely tribal wedding song for Veronica and Christine. (Silly; response to a prompt on the kmeme)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Traditional Tribal Wedding Song

Veronica  beams brighter than a ray of sunlight from under her veil, unable to resist peeking down at the lacy white confection of a dress that the Courier had given her. She has so much to be grateful for on this day; a beautiful blue sky, a beautiful new gown, and most importantly of course, the woman she loves. Christine smiles at her, all warmth and strength, and Veronica feels she can just _inhale_ her essence, breathe in the faint scent of new soap and old leather and the ever-present tang of gunpowder around her lover…

And now to be her wife. Veronica feels almost as if her face is about to break open with the force of her grin, eyes abruptly teary with emotion as Christine lifts her veil. Raul, as the oldest present, has elected himself as minister for this little ceremony, and is droning something in Spanish about eternity and vows. In the background, Lily honks her nose while bawling about ‘how my children have all grown up!’ But that doesn’t matter, because with familiar lips Christine is kissing her, and she is kissing back, and all the world is melting away as Veronica is suspended in this one perfect moment of time.

At least until Cass starts singing.

They had tried to dissuade her, they really had. Arcade had pointed out that since Veronica isn’t a tribal, it made absolutely no sense to sing a traditional tribal wedding song for her. Boone simply grunted and crossed his arms, insisting it was a bad idea. But Cass persisted, saying it was the best way she knew to honor Veronica’s marriage. So the band starts up, the redhead rips off her hat, and she starts belting the song.

_“Hustler’s shootin’ eight-ball, throwin’ darts at the wall!”_

It is catchy, Veronica has to admit. Christine leans in closer, her new voice strange against Veronica’s ear even though her warmth is so familiar. “Some friends, huh?”

 _“Feelin’ damn near ten feet tall, but here she comes! Lord help us all!”_ Cass continues crooning, head bobbing above her impromptu microphone as if she intends to start fellating it. “ _Ol’ TW’s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair! Poor ol’ boy, it ain’t his fault, it’s so hard not to stare!”_

Oh no, here comes the chorus. The irritating earworm that Veronica’s been expecting, but she forces the smile back to her lips, reminding herself that Cass is only doing this out of love, after all…

“ _At that honkytonk badonkadonk!_ ”

Veronica has no idea what a ‘badonkadonk’ is, but is starting to make an educated guess based on Cass’ dramatically shaking backside. Even the Courier is starting to get into it, cackling as the hip-shaking starts catching on with the wedding crowd.

“ _Keepin’ perfect rhythm makes you wanna swing along, got it going ooooon… Like Donkey Kong!”_

What is Donkey Kong? Is it a senile Nightkin attempting to gyrate her hips in a faded sundress? Veronica thinks _not_.

“ _And whoo-wee, shut my mouth! Slap your grandma!”_

Just why is a wedding song promoting domestic violence? Are tribals really that unrestrained?

“ _There outta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone! Lord have mercy how she even get them britches on! That honkytonk…. Badonkadonk!”_

Even Raul has deserted her in this hour of need, shaking his badonkadonk to a crackle of arthritic joints and snapping fingers.

“ _Now honey you can’t blame her_  
 _For what her mama gave her_  
 _It ain’t right to hate her_  
 _For workin’ that moneymaker!_  
 _Band shuts down at two_  
 _But we’re hangin’ out ‘til three—_  
 _We hate to see her go_  
 _But LOVE to watch her leave!_  
 _With that honkytonk… Badonkadonk!”_  


Dimly, Veronica wonders if it’s too late to have Raul sing the _other_ wedding song instead. 'La Cucaracha’ might not be so bad after all.


End file.
